Speak Up, Buttercup! The Ultimate Act of Self-Love in Healthcare (and Life)
Ah, February. The month of heart-shaped chocolates, wildly overpriced roses, and an endless barrage of reminders to “love yourself.” But let’s be real—self-love isn’t just about treating yourself to a fancy bath bomb (though we fully support that too). One of the most radical acts of self-care? Advocating for yourself—especially in healthcare.
We have some excellent tips on how to do just that, but first read on for a heart-felt personal story from our very own Dr Tiffany Mullen, DO. It is well worth a read!
I am a patient with a life-long health problem. I also happen to be a physician. You would probably assume that as a physician, I would have a much easier time navigating the complicated, friction-filled, dismissive system known as health care. On one hand, you would be correct: my knowledge affords me the ability to cut through medical information quickly, and my title of “physician” means that I’m more often treated respectfully than not. On the other hand, in most of the personal serious health situations that have popped up over the last several decades, I’ve had to use a strong voice–even when I have felt my most weak–to try to get medical providers to help me. Just like you, I have to advocate hard for myself and my health.
The last two serious health events I’ve experienced in the past five years both showed up acutely, without any warning. One was a spontaneous leak of cerebrospinal fluid from somewhere along my spine. This fluid bathes the spinal cord and brain, cushioning and protecting these vital organs. In my case, the leak was so significant and fast that blood vessels between my brain and skull were shorn off as the fluid gushed from somewhere in my spinal cord. There was no explanation for this. The effects were profound–debilitating headaches, vomiting, difficulty hearing, difficulty thinking. An initial visit to the emergency room provided no answers, as the ER doctor failed to recognize the signs of bleeding. I was diagnosed with a “virus.” A neurologist colleague got the diagnosis wrong too. I had to push for an appointment with her (she was booked nine months into the future) and push for an MRI as well, where the diagnosis was finally made. Even as a doctor, even advocating hard for myself, my “case” was poorly handled. Balls were dropped. I was out of work for three months. I missed the holidays. It took me a long, long time to recover.
Three weeks ago, another serious health event occurred, this one much more common. I got a kidney stone. But in my case, my kidney ruptured from the pressure of the stone lodging in my ureter. I was sent home from the Emergency Room and told to follow up with the urologist on call. I was able to get an appointment with his nurse practitioner the following week (I was offered one with the urologist in three months when I called the office). I had a follow-up ultrasound test and was told that the report would be available in 7-10 business days. Miserable, I pushed to get the test results more quickly. Infection of the fluid around the kidney was noted. Now experiencing fevers and chills, I pushed again to get a definitive plan for care. Another urologist stepped in, ordered me back to the emergency room for immediate additional testing. That night, I was in the operating room getting a stent in my ureter to relieve the fluid and infection. I was told that the stent should have been put in during my first emergency room visit three weeks ago.
I share this level of detail with you to illustrate that pushing, advocating, and questioning can sometimes be the difference between a few days’ illness and many weeks or months of symptoms. In my case, it is possible that my pushing saved my life–twice. No one is as invested in my health as me, and the same is true for you. Gone are the days when your GP–who you had a long relationship with and who knew you well–would quarterback every health issue that arose for you. The transactional nature of our health care means that each illness will be its own stand-alone event in a fragmented timeline of your life.
It is not all doom and gloom, however. Even as the health care system continues to move closer and closer to being the most complicated corn maze ever, there are good people along the path who will help. They will listen. If they don’t, speak louder! Read on to learn more tips and tricks on being your own health care advocate.
Why Speaking Up is the Ultimate Form of Self-Love
If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, unheard, or like you just imagined all your symptoms (spoiler: you didn’t), you’re not alone. Traditional healthcare often rushes through appointments, slaps on a one-size-fits-all treatment, and leaves little room for your actual experience.
But here’s the thing: You are the expert on your body. No one else lives in it 24/7 like you do. And standing up for yourself—whether it’s demanding answers, asking for second opinions, or just saying, “Actually, I’d like to explore other options”—isn’t being difficult. It’s loving yourself enough to make sure you get the care you deserve.
How to Channel Your Inner Healthcare Warrior
Not sure where to start? Here are some pro tips to flex your self-advocacy muscles:
1. Ditch the Apologies
You are not a burden. You are not “being dramatic.” Your concerns are valid. So instead of saying, “Sorry to bother you, but…” try “I need clarification on this.” See? No apology necessary.
2. Bring Notes Like It’s a Final Exam
Jot down your symptoms, concerns, and questions before your appointment. The more specific, the better. And if your doctor tries to brush something off, refer back to your list. A written record makes it much harder for things to be ignored.
3. Repeat After Me: ‘Can You Explain That?’
If a provider gives you vague advice or a rushed explanation, hit them with a “Can you explain that in simple terms?” This not only gets you clearer information but also makes sure they’re actually engaging with you, not just running through a script.
4. Be the CEO of Your Health
Think of your healthcare team as employees—you’re the boss. If someone isn’t doing their job (aka listening to you), it’s okay to find someone who will. The right provider will see you as a partner, not a problem.
5. Bring a Hype Person
If you struggle to speak up, bring a friend, partner, or even a detailed email you can hand over. Your health matters too much to let nerves get in the way.
Working With a Functional Medicine Provider and Your Healthcare Team
Advocating for yourself also means ensuring all your healthcare providers are on the same page. If you’re working with a functional medicine provider (like one of our incredible Vytal Health doctors), you may wonder how to communicate this to your primary care doctor or a specialist. Here’s how:
- Be upfront: Let your PCP or specialist know you’re working with a functional medicine provider and why. You can say something like, “I’m working with a functional medicine doctor to take a more in-depth look at my health. We’re focusing on root causes and lifestyle changes in addition to medical treatment.”
- Share your plan: If your providers seem skeptical, remind them that functional medicine isn’t about replacing conventional care; it’s about enhancing it. Offer to share lab results, supplement protocols, or treatment plans so they understand your holistic approach.
- Stay confident: If your conventional doctor dismisses functional medicine, remember—your health, your choice. You can always say, “I appreciate your input, but this approach has been working for me, and I’d love to integrate both perspectives.” A good provider will respect your decision.
The Vytal Health Difference: We Actually Listen 🙌
At Vytal Health, we LOVE helping patients stand up for themselves because—guess what?—you shouldn’t have to fight to be heard. Our providers actually take the time to listen, validate your experiences, and work with you to create a plan that fits your body and lifestyle. Because that’s what healthcare should be.
So, this February, while everyone else is buying stuffed bears and heart-shaped pizzas (again, no judgment), consider giving yourself the gift of self-advocacy. Because loving yourself means fighting for the care you deserve. And we’re here to help!